1st boy do I have a lot of catching up on this blog to do when it comes to the Hidden Joy Bible study. There is a lot more then the 5 chapters,I have here. But I will get to them because I have been thinking of finishing what I had learned.. Last night however I bolted straight up out of a sound sleep. When I looked at the clock it was 12 :52. I have no idea what caused the night mare and believe me it was a night mare. I haven't had a night mare , flash back of bad thought about my abuse for a while, so when this one hit I was knocked off guard. The only thing it may have been was that I watched the last 2 days of the world series, partly because there was nothing else on we wanted to see and partly we wanted to see who won. I normally detest baseball because my abuser watched it.
Any way as I lay in the dark the vision became clearer and clearer and I could "feel" him touching me again and me screaming " get away ,, no no" I fought the urge to beat me breast again as I used to when these feelings hit. Instead I lay in the darkness asking God why I was having this dream again, what was the reason and would he just hold me and let me fall back into a peaceful sleep again. But sleep would not come easy until finally I drifted into unknown darkness.
I hope today is better. I know God has a plan, I just would like for warning when these hit so I can be ready ... lol
