Chapter one- where it all began- part two

 I was rushed to the hospital where they immediately began to work on me while someone tried to reach my parents who were at work. According to my mom she and my daddy ran across a very large parting lot to get to their car. In Vegas working at a casino this was not unusual.

According to my mom, at some point her legs grew tired causing my daddy to carry her the rest of the way to the car which was in a parking lot a ways from the building. Now this is fishy because if the hospital called they would have given my parents directions if they had asked. Right? That's what I thought. However again according to my mother because they didn’t know where I had been taken to they drove around frantically hoping a cop would stop them so they could ask directions. But no such luck, so they went to the closest hospital to the house and it was there they found their little baby girl. Finally they reached the hospital,

As time passed the police were called and everyone was questioned including the babysitter. She had as many different answers as did my mom. But at least her answers were different. When asked she said Maybe I fell out of the window or off the back of the couch or...”

But my parents didn’t buy her story anymore then the police did. Suddenly the tension was broken when the Dr came back out to update my parents and the police of my condition. My parents didn’t care how I looked all they wanted to see their baby girl.

However once they stepped in the room I was in, the severity of my condition didn’t hit until they saw me. On first glance my mom’s breath caught trying to escape her parted lips. All she could do is look at the tiny lifeless baby that laid there helpless and unmoving. The right side was drawn up tight to the body while the left side twitched uncontrollably. There were tubes hooked to my body monitoring every movement, every action. My parents wanted to move closer but their feet were glued to the floor.

“ We don't know the extent of her injuries yet, but from what we can tell so far, she only has the use of one side of her body, If she does come out of it she will be a vegetable for the rest of her life- for those that know me some vegetable huh?

The Dr. quietly suggested that they ended my suffering but they couldn’t. How could they pull the plug. This was their precious baby girl. Their breath, their, life their reason for living. How could they end it. Were my moms words as guilt probably began to over take her.

 
 My guess, she didn’t want me to survive because I was my daddy’s pride and joy. If he ever cared for or about anything or anyone it was me. This was one of the many stories and facts my mom repeated to me over and over. Never letting me forget it. Now that that life was slowly dying , he would have to turn to her for comfort, which was something she wanted all along.”

Chapter one- where it all began- part one

"It all started a year after I was born". "In January of 1967 to be exact. That's supposedly when I was beaten with a baseball bat. .... Well there's no supposedly about it that did happen. Anyone who doubts that just has to look at the base of my skull to see the holes where they drilled to drain the blood that was collecting so my brain would stop swelling. The part that is unknown and needs to be proven is who in the heck did it. And why? What in the world did a 1 1/2 year old baby do to warrant this treatment? To this day I still do not know, and before you say anything I did ask and got FIVE different stories, all by the same person, my mom. She worked hard at covering up her inadequacies as a mom. But don't take my word for it you decide.

The first time I asked I was probably in kindergarten or first grade. A bunch of kids I rode the bus with asked why I had yet another cast on my right leg. I told them I didn't know and went home to ask. I was told the "real" story would be too hard for them to understand so just tell them I was in an auto accident" my mother said trying to avoid the entire conversation "well what is the real story?" I asked

"You umm, fell off the couch during nap time." She said not really paying attention as i went back to playing. But when she wasn't looking I tried it and all I got was a headache. So far that’s two different stories to the same question. Ready for three? Years had passed before I asked again and got yet another story. are ya sitting down- The babysitter did it this time. She beat with me with a baseball bat because I was crying....

And last but certainly not least I was beaten with a baseball bat by the baby sitter because I wouldn’t eat my vegetables.

(kind of sounds like a clue game scenario huh?)

It gets better ….. stay tune for part two

My reason for sharing with you

Introduction

Hi my name is Debra and I want to thank you for choosing to read my blog even after the warning.  Although the entries are not graphic they are of an adult nature. It is estimated that there are over a  million reported cases of child abuse every year. Sadly I was one of those cases, however I was one of those who were not reported. The more I looked at  the statistics  the more  I wondered how many cases of abuse like mine there were that aren't reported, leaving the child in question to suffer alone with no one to help? 


That is one reason I am writing this blog.  So those who read this and feel alone like I did, know they are not alone. Even though I am not in the same room I am with you mentally I know your pain and fear. I know how alone you must feel. I was there.  And if you find my page  and wish to comment you may do so anonymously.I will hear you.  Before you think this story isn't for you it is for anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind or for those you know who have suffered abuse- as you read  future entries  you will see the types of abuse I suffered from and am recovering from.

 If you have been here before I rearranged my entries because I am starting a bible study called  Hidden Joy in a dark corner by Wendy Blight. My story will be woven through the entries from this study. I hope you follow me as I emerge victorious on the other side of my  wilderness.