In my weakness – pt 2 ch 5

I am now working to  fill in the gaps from Ch 5 - 11.so you wont think you missed something- for you haven't here is where we catch up.  

 So many times through out my life I had wished my life was different and the events of my past were different, especially when I tried to use both hands and couldn't. Or the weakness of my right hand failed me and I dropped something or couldn't do something as well as someone else. It was embarrassing. Because not only was I molested as a child, I also have cerebral palsy from a beating I received as a baby. When I was made fun of growing up because of my disability, I so wished God would magically make my right hand like my left so I wouldn't be teased made fun of or singled out and picked on. All I wanted was to be like everyone else. But each time I looked in the mirror I saw that I wasn't.

Now that I am an adult and have a better perspective – sometimes – then I did as a child and am doing this study to help heal the brokenness, God led me to a scripture as he spoke to me. It was like my Father was speaking to me personally.

2 Corinthians 12:8-9

“ Three different times I begged you God to make me well again, Each time you said no. But I am with you. That is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people”

Although I asked more then three times over my life time, when I read the above scripture I stopped in my tracks. God was speaking right to me. How all these years I missed his answer to me I don't know. Clearly it wasn't my time to hear it because I wouldn't have understood it. But now what I have learned from this is that God wanted to work through me, It wasn't that God didn't want to heal me at all.

So now my thinking has shifted a little from heal me Father to use me to help others trust you Because its only through God that we are whole, Only God knows what we can handle because he created us, It is us that doubts what we can do, be and accomplish.

Because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Philippians 4:13.

one step closer

Wow, it has been a while since I posted here - for that I am sorry I guess I  got lost in the  reading and healing  and occasionally  hiding.  But here I am emerging with the thoughts of  the last chapter.   Don't worry you wont miss  anything  be 5 and 11 because I will post my thoughts as I review my notes this weekend.

AS I finish reading this book it accord to me I am one step closer to finishing fully a study to my satisfaction – and I am NEVER EVER satisfied with a lot. But then no matter how many times I look over the book and study and re read learning what God wants and has in store for me will never end. I could add to what I have and see things I missed before and thats what getting to know who God is is all about and what my heart desires over everything in the world.

This is an accomplishment in itself - finishing something. Going from start to finish and finishing strong as I did, is one step closer to where I need to be. With my Father in Heaven. In Wendy's last chapter page 169 She makes the statement No drug no threrapy and no person regardless of how well trained or well intentioned can bring the full and complete healing that comes in the name of Jesus Christ.

I have tried several of these including other books that proclaim to help heal from the trauma of the not thinking I was I left Jesus out of my healing and as much as I hoped nothing seemed to work for long. But after starting this study and working through each chapter and talking with my sisters who were on this journey with me ,,, things began to change slowly. And things came to the surface that were well hidden. Now is the next step with Jesus at the center of everything.

I am looking forward to the next stage of my life and helping others along the same path I just came from. 

My next study  if you are interested in  following is on marriage and how I as a  Christian  wife  healing from abuse can be the wife God  had intended me to be   before I was even born.