I am now working to fill in the gaps from Ch 5 - 11.so you wont think you missed something- for you haven't here is where we catch up.
So many times through out my life I had wished my life was different and the events of my past were different, especially when I tried to use both hands and couldn't. Or the weakness of my right hand failed me and I dropped something or couldn't do something as well as someone else. It was embarrassing. Because not only was I molested as a child, I also have cerebral palsy from a beating I received as a baby. When I was made fun of growing up because of my disability, I so wished God would magically make my right hand like my left so I wouldn't be teased made fun of or singled out and picked on. All I wanted was to be like everyone else. But each time I looked in the mirror I saw that I wasn't.
Now that I am an adult and have a better perspective – sometimes – then I did as a child and am doing this study to help heal the brokenness, God led me to a scripture as he spoke to me. It was like my Father was speaking to me personally.
2 Corinthians 12:8-9
“ Three different times I begged you God to make me well again, Each time you said no. But I am with you. That is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people”
Although I asked more then three times over my life time, when I read the above scripture I stopped in my tracks. God was speaking right to me. How all these years I missed his answer to me I don't know. Clearly it wasn't my time to hear it because I wouldn't have understood it. But now what I have learned from this is that God wanted to work through me, It wasn't that God didn't want to heal me at all.
So now my thinking has shifted a little from heal me Father to use me to help others trust you Because its only through God that we are whole, Only God knows what we can handle because he created us, It is us that doubts what we can do, be and accomplish.
Because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
Philippians 4:13.
Wow... talk about cry for healing. You begged for physical and emotional healing. I can't imagine what you've been through, and all I can really say is that I am so sorry for what another creation of the Lord chose to do to you. There is no excuse for it, no reason at all... and as a sister in Christ, I am just so sorry. But I rejoice in the fact that you are now at a place in your life where you are willing to say, "Use me Lord." I think that's a pivotal point in our lives as "victims" to request the Lord to use it for His good. You are in my prayers... I am amazed by your strength! I am proud to be your sister through Jesus!
ReplyDeleteThank you Tamara, I love being your sister as well. For a long time all I could do is hate and isolate myself. I love the song why me Lord. Showing someone else what I've been through is amazing. I can't wait to get the rest of the chapters of notes here. I also love stopping by your page and see what you and your family are up to.
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