On page 53 Wendy says He continued to point me to to his word where I'd find my answers” Well I can relate to that because that has happened so many times in my life as well. Those times I strayed away from the comfort of his arms. Times when I took my healing and life into my own hands. And it was at those times I felt the most desperate and lonely. But it was also that time I needed to feel like I was taking charge of my life and doing something. It was like God was in the background and because I was and am human I felt I had to do something to feel safe. But a lot of those times all I felt was pain and isolation. Because I was new to my faith there was no one to guide teach or instruct me on how to be a new christian or what I should be feeling. There was no one there to help grow my faith. Those times at church when I was in 3rd grade were fleeting and far between. It was as if those Sundays were just a recess' or breaks from the real life the life I could see, hear, feel. And what I was feeling I didn't like. But for some reason – a reason I did not fully know or understand why – my thoughts kept going back to the bible and His Word.
AS I continue in this study scriptures are being revealed to me that at the time I did not know about. Scripture that would help explain to me that I was thought about I was thought of and I was cared for and about- By God. My Heavenly Father. As I write this I suddenly remember only bits and pieces of my past and the one thing I remember is the 23rd psalm. “The Lord is my shepherd.” Although I didn't understand the meaning of it, I worked heard at memorizing it . Especially the part about how even thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” There were lots of shadows. And I clung to that chapter for some reason because it brought me comfort. Let me see if I can remember it. “The Lord is my shepherd. I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths,bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid,for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life,and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. (NLT).
Pause, fade out in refection...........
Authors note
Since I read the Living Bible this (NLT) was the closest to what I had. And I'm sure its the newest version of the living bible. So thats why I wrote this version So now that I'm off track I'll end here and start a new post to continue.
Im so glad memories of God's presence are coming to the foreground even among unpleasantness. Its like He is saying, "You weren't alone then, and you're not alone now."
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing! Especially the part about lots of shadows. It fits so well with the hidden treasures in darkness. ;)